Are You Ready for Marriage?

 Ah, marriage, it's the goal. This is what some people have talked about and looked forward to their whole lives. It is something some look for and feel like they can never find. However, are you ready for marriage?

I'm 20 years old and in college, I tend to turn my focus to my studies and friends. I'm at that age where I want to be out and just live life to the fullest! However, in the last month, I've known three people my age who got married. I won't lie and sometimes feel like I'm missing out on that. I don't expect to get married anytime soon but I don't want to feel like the one left out. But sometimes I evaluate my life and realize that marriage is something I am not prepared for. You may wonder when you'll get married and how you know when you're ready. 

To start, dating is a big factor. We all know that dating helps you find those qualities you are looking for in your future spouse. However, dating is so different from how it used to be and will continue to change with time. From our class textbook, it says "Only 50 percent of college women reported that they had been asked out on six or more dates, and a third said they had been asked on two or fewer dates (Glenn & Marquardt, 2001). Young women and men more often “hang out” rather than go on planned dates. Young adults often report finding that even when they have been hanging out with someone over some time, they still do not know if they are a couple"(Eds et al.). This is one of the most difficult trials in dating. I will admit that I am someone who has been in a situation like this before. 

I will say one thing about approaching dating. Find out who you are first. This is one of the biggest pieces of advice I could give. There are times when you might think that dating someone will help you find out for yourself and make you a better person. But by doing that you are just avoiding who you could be. Dating may be for fun but once you are in that emerging adulthood stage, it could be time to think about who you date could be a potential partner for life. Emerging adulthood is usually between the ages of 19 to 23, this is when you may not feel "ready for life" but you are also not necessarily a child anymore. Being in this stage of life right now allows me to understand how stressful it can be.

I want many of you emerging adults or even those who are still looking for their future partners to reflect on your own life. If you are not prepared for marriage, then prepare yourself. Don't let the pressures of the world rush you, but make sure you are ready at your own pace. Don't be afraid of yourself and keep an eye open for those who come into your lives. "True love begins with loving myself" (Kim Namjoon). 

                                                   Use this as a reminder to love yourself!